When I'm Gone
by Obsidian Buterfly
Summary: a sad and angsty drabble on C. Syaoran.


He was running, trying to escape the darkness pressing in on him from all sides. But darkness was not the only thing he was running from. He was also trying to escape that person who called out to him in his dreams. That mirror of himself who looked exactly like him but felt so alien at the same time. His voice was always so cold and emotionless. His single brown eye so empty of feeling it made Syaoran want to grit his teeth together at the chills he felt by looking at it. He wondered sometimes what would happen if somehow his place was switched with the boy in his dreams? Would his companions forget about him? Would they even notice him gone? Would they miss him? Try to find him maybe?

He knew something was wrong with him. All those lapses of his memory; the feeling of having done something yet not remembering what it was? It was almost as if his nightmares were coming true. Was he slowly turning into that boy he kept seeing? Was it possible that maybe his heart was separating from his soul? His happy-go-lucky, blue eyed companion seemed to have noticed this change as well. Why else would his eyes always sadden like that whenever he looked at him? Maybe he could ask him for help. After all Syaoran knew that despite his lies and secrets, the wizard did care for them all. He must have something that could help him.

It was no longer a doubt. He knew his nightmare was turning into a reality. The darkness was finally closing in on him; the coldness was gripping more and more at his heart; the feeling of being human was leaving his soul with every passing second. He was turning into his image from his dreams. Even the mage would be unable to help him now because the heart he had always thought to be his own, belonged to someone else in reality, always had. And since that boy was coming back for it, Syaoran was going to be left with nothing. Nothing could save him anymore. With a sad smile, he bade goodbye to his princess, to his mentor, to his caring little friend and to the goofy magician. His transformation that had begun at the witch's shop was now nearing its final stages. But even so he would never let her down. Even if he changed altogether, he would still fulfill the promise he had made that wet day as he had clutched her cold unmoving body in his arms._ He will return all her feathers._

_Sorry…_ he said quietly as he felt his heartbeat slow down. So what if he could never regain what he had lost, he had at least tried to atone for his sins. He knew there was no forgiveness for what he had done but maybe, just maybe, they might forgive him? He looked at the boy supporting him; he was no longer that cold heartless being he used to see in his dreams. This boy, this original person was just as kind-hearted as he himself had once been. Syaoran inwardly chuckled at the irony of it all. The image had turned into him and he had changed into the image. _He _was the cold-hearted, emotionless empty shell now. His image had filled up the hole that _he_ had left behind in that small family back in Tokyo.

_Thank you…_ he whispered when he realized that his old friends had never hated him in the first place. All this time, they had been trying to bring _him_ back. The Syaoran they had come to love and adore for his sweet nature and burning determination. _He _might never return now, since it was too late but at least they didn't hate him for being what he was. His mind felt at peace, the nightmare was ending at last. The darkness that had been all around him was now replaced by an ethereal light. He could sense _her _presence nearby. This meant he would get to meet his princess again. Maybe he would finally find out what she had wanted to tell him all those times. Maybe _now_, he would get that happily ever after. Like the ones in those stories he had heard on his travels with his dad.

_Yeah. Maybe. Just maybe. _He thought peacefully as his body shattered to thousands of tiny pieces before vanishing out of existence forever. _Just like Sakura._

_**A/N: this is a really weird drabble I typed while listening to "when I'm gone" by "3 doors down". I don't know why but for some reason this song really seems to fit C. Syaoran. At least that's what I think. By the way this is my first attempt to write something based on Syaoran's personality or maybe his character will be more appropriate.**_


End file.
